It has been two months since Oliver's birth and I have been wanting to set up a new blog since our old website is no longer supported. Things are looking a bit plain around here but I have to start somewhere! Some of you have heard the long version of Oliver's story, some of you have only heard little bits here and there, many of you have asked...so this is where I'll start. Welcome to our new blog and it's first post!
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| Oliver Roy Mullins • May 17th • 4:49pm • 7pounds 15ounces • 20inches |
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His birthday was one of the most beautiful...and terrifying...days of my life.
I thought we might walk through the main doors of the hospital with a shining sun on the morning of May 17th. I had a scheduled 7am induction due to low amniotic fluid levels. At 41 weeks, I was feeling more than ready to meet, snuggle, and kiss my son. I did feel some sadness at the thought of being induced rather than going into labor naturally as I had with the other three. So, I prayed, and others did too, that labor would begin on its own.
Wednesday night was busy getting kids tucked in while Elijah headed to the airport to pick up his mom and grandma. My mom stayed with me, helping around the house and with the kids. Elijah arrived home around 9:15pm and we spent a few minutes visiting. I felt overwhelmingly tired and hoped for some good rest. Little did I know God would answer the prayers for no induction, and then a thousand more in the hours and days to come.
In typical Mullins’ fashion (ALL four, to be exact), I laid my head on the pillow and began to contract. I tried to sleep through them for awhile. By 11pm I was certain this was the real thing. Excitement to meet our son quickly outweighed the reality that I was already exhausted!
Elijah woke up his mom at midnight and she assured us that she would be just fine taking care of the kids in the morning. God had planned the timing of his moms arrival to meet our needs perfectly.
My mom headed over and we arrived at the hospital around 1am. My contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes and we felt hopeful that we would meet our son soon. I was feeling some low back pain with contractions...something I hadn’t experienced with the other kids.
Labor did not rise to my expectations and every estimated "time of delivery" kept passing by. Things got very difficult and very long. I think I knew in my heart that something was wrong but there was no hard evidence for me to feel that way. Nothing seemed right to me. After 15+ hours and more than an hour of pushing, then a "break", and another try with NO progress...we chose to go ahead with a c-section (a first for me). God kept speaking the words, "all is grace", straight to my heart. I can't explain how reassuring it was to remember, during some hours that felt like more than I could bear, that "all is grace". So thankful that He takes the ugliest, hardest, most desperate moments and can create something beautiful from them.
“Lament is a cry of belief in a good God, a God who has His ear to our
hearts, a God who transfigures the ugly into beauty." Ann Voskamp
The c-section went well. I was peaceful and so excited to think we would finally meet our boy. Then the unthinkable happened. He wasn't breathing. It was apparent that he had been trying to present forehead and face first which is why he was not making progress during labor. He had the cord around his neck. He had a KNOT in his cord. His cord was traumatized and bleeding. But I couldn't see anything. I had no idea what was happening except that my baby wasn't crying. His
Apgar score was 1...for his heart rate of 35. Elijah was taking a video of him and then realized that things were not okay. They pulled the core and the room flooded with at least 20 more people. He needed CPR. Through all this, the only words I could hear in my head were, "all is grace". I wasn’t sure how this was grace...but the truth kept fear from overtaking me. The anesthesiologist behind me started giving me a dialogue. It was God's kindness to hear SOMETHING. His voice was so calm and though he really didn't know exactly what was happening, he kept finding reassuring things to tell me. Then we realized no one knew this baby boy's name and we wanted everyone to know. When we told the doctors and nurses that his name was Oliver, my nurse got teary eyed and showed me a picture of her precious, curly blond haired son - a healthy five-year-old named Oliver who had experienced a very similar birth. God is so kind! Another tender mercy. He knew just the nurse I needed. And peace from the king of kings was in my heart, despite uncertainty.
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| brand new with his CoolCap and still on the ventilator |
“The Word has nail-scarred hands that cup our face close, wipe away the tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, ‘I know. I know.’” -Ann Voskamp
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| "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear, I will help you." Isaiah 41:13 |
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Oliver was in the NICU for 9 days. He had amazing doctors and nurses that we trusted and are so thankful for. We'll probably never know what caused the trauma or for how long he went without oxygen. God provided a neonatologist that had been overseas just days before. Dr. Paisley has led research at Children's in Denver on head cooling treatment for babies who suffer loss of oxygen at birth.
http://www.archildrens.org/Video-Center/Headcooling/Cooling.aspx
His EEG was abnormal and she felt he was a good candidate for this treatment. It is a strange feeling to say yes to treatments you have never heard of before, but God gave us peace and we felt secure to trust this team of doctors and nurses. Oliver wore his "CoolCap" for 72 hours that kept his body temp at 94. Six weeks earlier our hospital was not equipped for this treatment. He would have been flown to Children's in Denver - another tender mercy. He was the third baby in our hospital to be treated with the CoolCap.
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| Oliver's room in the NICU |
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| Dr Paisley, his neonatologist |
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| head cooling control center |
There were many overwhelming days full of tests and concerns and questions. He had spinal taps to test for Meningitis, chest x-rays with concern for pneumonia, a plasma transfusion, and was on a ventilator for his first 8 hours of life. God kindly carried us through each moment and surrounded us with so many wonderful people.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "But he
said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my
weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the
sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships,
persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
A dear friend had been burdened heavily to pray for Oliver the night I went into labor. I had told her his name the day before (we generally keep the name a secret) because of something I ordered with his name embroidered. She kept thinking, no, he's fine, Melissa has always had good deliveries. But then the thought pressed on her mind that I would have a still birth. She couldn't shake it. And so she prayed for my son all night and all day - by name. God hears! Praise Him for putting my son on her heart and giving her the sensitivity to listen and pray! We were minutes away from a still birth. I LOVE how God let me see that part of Oliver's story…how God used a sister in Christ that was willing to PRAY to bring Himself greater glory.
Romans 8: 26-28 "Likewise the
Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as
we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too
deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the
Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the
will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work
together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
I could write a book of pages telling the many ways God revealed His goodness in the midst of terrifying circumstances. He used servant-hearted people to comfort us, serve us, and bring us hope. Hot meals delivered to our home every night, friends that took our children on fun adventures, a mom and grandma that tirelessly cared for our children and our home, more prayers than we will ever know of from around the world, flowers, and many comforting words and verses. And that is just a glimpse!
For the first few days, I felt like I was living within another mom’s nightmare...it didn’t feel real. I struggled with guilt for this and wondered if Oliver would ever feel like MY son. God gave Oliver fabulous NICU nurses. One, in particular, knew just what I needed. Twice a day they removed Oliver’s cool cap to check his head.
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Cindy putting on the CoolCap
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His temperature was so closely monitored that he wasn't supposed to be held...but his little blankets needed to be changed so his nurse, Cindy, had to pick him up. She looked at me and said, “Oh my, Oliver is really in my way. I can’t hold him and change his blanket. I guess his mommy will have to hold him while I do this.”
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| first time holding my son |
The moment he was in my arms, he was MY SON. I fell fiercely in love with him and was able to see Oliver and look past all the monitors, tubes, and wires.
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| God gave us unity through the ups and downs. So thankful for this amazing man! |
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| chillin |
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| not lovin it |
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| cooling is complete! |
When he had an MRI after his re-warming, everything looked completely normal! As was his follow-up EEG. Praise God. He spent the next days weaning off of medications, learning to eat, and weaning off TPN. I was able to sleep in a room at the hospital and prayed we could bring home a nursing baby...without the need to pump and bottle feed. God answered that prayer too! We brought home a healthy baby. A baby with absolutely NO signs of his traumatic birth. He is such a miracle.
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| warming up |
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| finally...allowed to be swaddled and lovin it! |
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| proudest big brother EVER |
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Oliver has been such a taste of God's tender mercy and undeserved grace.
I'm afraid I might spoil him rotten! I just don't wanna put him
down...well...sometimes I do want to put him down...but he has other
ideas about that! ;-)
